Just a few moments ago as you walked along the large grassy lawn in the middle of Fordham University, you whispered a prayer. Perhaps one of the most important prayers related to your destiny:
God, this is it. This is the school where You would have me to be. I just know it, so I won't apply to any others. I don't have the money but I'm going to trust you to provide. Your Word says we are the head and not the tail and the lender not the borrower, so I believe you can do it without a single student loan.
It has been a difficult summer. You were expecting to spend your days at a fabulous internship, hopefully Essence Magazine, followed by fun nights at happy hour. But those Carrie Bradshaw dreams were squashed as each journalism door closed. Instead you have been spending 10-hour days at the local water park, working as a cashier at the snack bar. The minimum wage, kitchen grease, and resulting forehead acne is not what you had in mind for the summer before graduation.
At times you struggled with doubt, wondering if you really were a good writer. That maybe this gift was only meant for your reflective diary entries or quirky Facebook statuses. "If I'm not supposed to be a journalist, then what?" you wondered.
Don't worry, this is not the end of your dreams. Instead this is a redirection, a humbling redirection. God has quite the journey planned for you. But if you knew what you had to go through to get there, you would likely walk away.
Life has been about comfort for you. And in some ways you expected God to keep things that way. He always seemed to come through quickly whenever you prayed but rather than see Him as God, you began to see Him as genie.
The next few years you will come to know Him as Lord of your life. Not in a frightening, domineering way. No, once you decide to truly let God become the Lord of your life you will realize that life is more fulfilling when you allow Him to order your steps. When you hand your dreams over to God He will expand them beyond your imagination.
God blessed you with a heart to help others-- from your insight, to your desire to go above and beyond for those in need. It's gotten you hurt at times, considering the times you have been let down by friends and ex-boyfriends. But don't let this harden you or cause you to become bitter. Instead understand that you have to be careful with your light. You do not have to give your heart to everyone it attracts.
This heart of yours will lead you to become a pastoral counseling student. Yes, all those times your friends asked you to be their "therapist" was perhaps a sign. It's not the journey you had envisioned, exchanging Cosmos for a divine calling.
The challenges may not subside, but the expansion of God's purpose for your life will also call for you to stretch beyond what you originally thought. You will lose some relationships, at times you will have to go without, and your bank account will be in overdraft so often that the alerts no longer phase you.
So what about your future is exciting or even good?
What you have to go through now-- the sacrifice and the hard work-- is worth the end result. Every time you thought you could not take another day, week, or month God proved His faithfulness and supplied you with the grace to keep going. You'll be stronger than you've ever been and more resilient than you've ever had to be.
Faith. That's what you're going to need. A whole lot of it. But trust and believe that it will get you far. There will be some painful losses but He will be faithful to restore each one.
Spoiler alert: In just a few days you will graduate with your masters in pastoral counseling, with a job you're passionate about waiting for you in just a couple weeks.
So yes, take that chance and fill out that school application. Because you are crazy enough to believe, God will answer your prayer. In the meantime know that those greasy summer days in the snack bar kitchen are all a part of the journey.