Hi, my name is Tara and I am a recovering perfectionist. For years I sought to be free from flaws, not necessarily in my eyes, but in the view of others. And those who know from experience can attest that pleasing everyone is an impossible feat.
In my pursuit of perfection and approval, I focused on outward appearances and accomplishments while neglecting my emotional being. If there was a problem, I kept it to myself and gathered up what strength I could find to solve it alone.
Back then I could have used these honest words from my sister Jessie,
“No matter how introverted and independent we are, God made us long for meaningful relationships with each other. That’s why we can’t do everything on our own. We need help from time to time. We’re freakin’ human.”
A support system was readily available to me with loving friends and family and yet “Never let ‘em see you sweat,” had somehow become my mantra.
It took a fall from grace and a seat in a therapist’s chair for me to realize that I was chasing a goal that was never obtainable. And perhaps that’s the biggest problem with perfection. From afar it looks so appeasing, but no stairway can get you there and no stretch of the limbs will bring you close.
But even after seeking therapy I couldn’t let go of my Team-of-Me attitude, as I kept it a secret from close friends and even family.
What would they think of me seeking professional help? Would they think I’m crazy? What if they don’t think I have it all together?
Then I would have been ashamed to say that I didn’t, but now I find it quite liberating.
Yes, I am at times anxious about the future. No, my life isn’t always as grand as Instagram can make it seem. Learning to be ok with being good enough has allowed me to see mistakes in a new light. They can be a bit more sweet than bitter, in retrospect, if you learn from them.
I see that insecurities are no longer something to be ashamed of. They are what makes me human, what allows me to empathize and connect with others on a more personal level.
It’s been a journey that I feel shouldn’t be taken alone, and so I’ve dusted off the ol’ blog once again.
Welcome back to my site.
Here you’ll find thoughts on life, along with inspiration, self-care, humor, and culture. This is a place where you can have faith, be encouraged, laugh a little, learn a thing or two, and embrace your flaws.
You’ll also learn more about my journey through graduate school as I study to become a counselor myself. I have one semester under my belt and so much more to go.
So kick back, relax, enjoy some of my old posts and I hope you look forward to reading what’s to come.
— Tara Pook